Tuesday, May 10, 2011

How to Handle a Breakup, Catholic Edition (pt 1)

How to Handle a Breakup, Catholic Edition (part 1)

1.  Say lots of prayers for your ex because clearly he is misguided and who knows what else.  If you're feeling extra charitable, make a novena to your ex's favorite saint and ask him/her to champion you and hound your ex.

Guardian Angel, take notes.
2.  Remind your guardian angel that the word "guardian" is there for a reason and maybe next time instead of taking a coffee break he can guard your heart.

3.  Or if he can't guard your heart, he can at least beat up your ex.  

4.  Echo St.Teresa of Avila's statement, "Dear Lord, if this is how You treat Your friends, it is no wonder You have so few!”

Looking Back at LIFE
Lord, take notes.

5.  Pester the Lord as to why His people always have the be the ones in exile, slavery, persecution, etc.  Does He really have a plan?

7.  And if He does have a plan, is it really a well-thought out one?  Feel free to make any amendments you might have.

8.  Head to Adoration and pick a fight with Jesus.

Hey Jesus, what's your problem?!
9.  Remind Him that He's the one who put the desires for marriage and family into your heart, so maybe could send you a quality boyfriend who wants to stick around.  Radical idea, right?    Sound as cantankerous as possible when making your points. 

10.  Get annoyed when Jesus refuses to fight.

 11.  Leave in a huff.

12.  Bathe in your tears.

13.  Repeat steps 1 - 12.

 A more serious take on "How to Handle a Breakup, Catholic Edition" (part 2!) will be posted later this month.  Keep your eyes peeled!

When Rejected
Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam
For the greater Glory of God

Lord, give me the strength to live these words, and especially to remember them when I get rejected from where I thought You wanted me.

Let me always know that everything happens mysteriously for the greater glory of God.  It is You who place me, with the utmost care, where You want me.

Wherever that place may be, help me to find it, accept it, love it, and live it, as I follow where You lead me and thank you ad maiorem dei gloriam.  Amen.

*Prayer taken from Now and Forever: The Catholic University of America Student Prayer Book


  1. Just remember: The Lord must love fools, else why would He make so many of them? :^)=) "Thy Will be done!"

  2. "Head to adoration" is a pretty good answer for any problem!
    Love that St. Teresa of Avila quote

  3. Someone I'm following tweeted this post and I had to come over and read it. I admire your faith and enjoy your sense of humor!

  4. Sometimes it really does help to get angry at God and let it all out. He's big, he can take it.

    Going to adoration works well too most of the time. And, he always has a plan! Although, many times I wonder too. ;-)

  5. there's a lot of truth in jest...lol :) I look forward to reading your upcoming post regarding the subject!

  6. Luke 18:7-8. I love it because He gives us permission to be brats.

  7. Loved #1: "...make a novena to your ex's favorite saint and ask him/her to champion you and hound your ex."

    And especially Adoration -- beats mopping at the local coffee shop.

    I'm looking forward to part 2!

  8. Oh, man. Saw myself in all of these... it's amazing how we take the good advice we give others in situations like these, and then twist it all up out of anger.

    I locked my keys in the car on my way to picking a fight in the Adoration chapel. Proof He's always listening. :o)

  9. "Head to adoration and pick a fight with Jesus"
    Now, that's funny...all kidding aside, time will heal things...believe me I know, I'm old :)

  10. Time does not heal all wounds, God does.