When my dear Bright Maidens suggested I pray a novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I resisted. "I don't know what to pray for," I protested. My heart hurt; I was tired; and I couldn't muster up the energy for the small sacrifice of a novena.
I passed on their suggestion.
A month later, feeling even more weepy, weary, and alone, I read something about promptings of the Holy Spirit coming through friends and family. "Huh, I wonder if...? Could someone other than Julie & Elizabeth want me to make this novena?"
I was scared to find out.
So I took it slowly. Cracked open the Treasury of Novenas. Read the section on the Sacred Heart. Prayed some of the prayers but not the novena prayer. "I still don't know what to ask for," I admitted to Jesus. "I'm equally afraid of having my heart healed as I am of never having it healed."
I shut the book.
My mood worsened.
The next few days were filled with weariness and venom.
I fretted.
I cried.
I got angry.
I cried some more.
On Friday I got a text from a friend. "Adoration tonight?" was all it said.
Again, I resisted. "Not sure. I'm exhausted."
"Haven't seen you in a few weeks. C'mon!"
So, I went. As I entered the chapel, I picked up a leaflet by the door. I settled onto my knees, tried to calm myself, and cleared my mind. When that didn't work for more than a few minutes, I reached for the leaflet.
"The Compassionate Heart of Jesus," the heading said. "Where shall we ever find a heart more compassionate or tender than the heart of Jesus, or one that had a greater feeling for our miseries?"
My eyes pooled with tears.
I made the novena, thank God, and I feel more at peace.
The moral of this tale? Don't ignore the holy promptings of your family and friends.
Most holy Heart of Jesus, fountain of every blessing, I adore You, I love You, and with a lively sorrow for my sins, I offer myself to You.
Make me humble, patient, pure, and obedient to Your Will. Grant, dear Jesus, that I may live in You and for You. Protect me in the midst of danger; comfort me in my afflictions; give me health of body, assistance in my temporal needs, your blessing on all I that I do, and the grace of a holy death.
Love of the Heart of Jesus, inflame my heart.
Charity of the Heart of Jesus, flow into my heart.
Strength of the Heart of Jesus, support my heart.
Mercy of the Heart of Jesus, pardon my heart.
Patience of the Heart of Jesus, grow not weary of my heart.
Kingdom of the Heart of Jesus, be in my heart.
Wisdom of the Heart of Jesus, teach my heart.
Will of the Heart of Jesus, guide my heart.
Zeal of the Heart of Jesus, consume my heart.
Immaculate Virgin Mary, pray for me to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, a photo by Lawrence OP on Flickr.
Trista — So glad to read that you're healing! He's got something better for you, I'm certain of it.
ReplyDeleteMay the Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised, adored and glorified now and forever. Amen.
This made me incredibly happy and Julie weepy. I love you, Trista!
ReplyDeleteI love when things like this happen (except for the part where I want to kick myself for not obeying more promptly...)! Our Lord is so patient and tender towards us.
ReplyDeleteAnd that prayer is beautiful! Gotta love Catholic tradition.
How beautiful... Especially thinking of today's readings: " do not let your hearts be troubled"...
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are finding peace--even reluctantly :). God is speaking loudly to you, my dear, and that is awesome! Heart break is really tough stuff. Don't be too hard on yourself...these things take lots of time.
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful, Trista!! :)
ReplyDelete:')
The Captcha thing for that one was "Mater." How cool is that? Mary's in on it too.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Trista, for sharing a rare glimpse of what is like when a suffering soul finds release and embrace in God's magnificent Sacred Heart. Your honest post will encourage others to do the same. God Bless!
ReplyDeleteUm,I hope this is useful, but here is a tiny analysis of your slowness. Not to say that you need analysis, but to comfort your slowness.
ReplyDeleteI think a legitimate fear exists that healing too quickly could minimize the significance of the wound.
Think of the servant Peter took the ear off of. I'm sure it stopped hurting as soon as Jesus healed it, moments later, but he LOST HIS EAR!
I live in Alaska, and every year at the "Eskimo Olympics" one of the events is the ear-pull. Two contestants hook a loop of sinew behind their right ears and pull.
Essentially it's a test of how much pain one can endure. And more than one contest has ended with a competitor jogging to the medic to have his (or her!) ear taped back on.
It's not a small thing, and Christ apparently healed it instantly.
That an event so significant could be so "briskly" washed away seems to minimize the significance of the pain.
Alternatively it can feel shameful. Could it really be that I'm so weak that I'm even delayed in wholeness?
Sometimes I think we hang onto pain longer than we have to, not because we enjoy it, but because it is proof that *this* actually happened.
At least, that's what goes on in my head.
And I'm thankful for your discovery. For the delay you have the assurance that *this* is what you really needed.
And that is valuable, too.
Peace to you.
Brava, ProseyPirate!! That is a FANTASTIC point. I think a legitimate fear exists that healing too quickly could minimize the significance of the wound.
ReplyDeleteThe Sacred Heart of Jesus is amazing! I am deeply devoted as I credit His Sacred Heart for saving my life when I was in the throes of a deep depression last year. I'm so glad to hear that another soul has found comfort within His heart.
ReplyDeleteWhat wonderful family and friends you have to encourage and support you in your faith!