not a minx, a moron, or a parasite

Long Island Life Info: Attention Doctors and Nurses

2012-02-12T15:51:00.000-05:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: Likewise we hold in the highest esteem those doctors and members of the nursing profession who, in the exercise of their calling, endeavor to fulfill the demands of their Christian vocation before any merely human interest. Let them therefore continue constant in their resolution always to support those lines of action which accord with faith and with right reason. And let them strive to win agreement and support for these policies among their professional colleagues. Moreover, they should regard it as an essential part of their skill to make themselves fully proficient in this difficult field of medical knowledge. For then, when married couples ask for their advice, they may be in a position to give them right counsel and to point them in the proper direction. Married couples have a right to expect this much from them. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 27)

How to Help: Can you crochet or knit? Rachel's Vineyard Retreat, the program for post-abortion healing for men and women, is in need of prayer shawls. The Life Center of Long Island will provide yarn. Please contact 516-798-9100 to help.

Source: nfpworksblog.com via Trista on Pinterest

How to Get Help: Couples interested in the natural, moral means of planning and postponing pregnancy are invited to register for the March 9, 2012 Natural Family Planning session at 7:30 pm held at various locations. To register or for more information,log onto http://www.drvc-faith.org/nfp.html

My Picks for The Liebster Blog

2012-02-11T17:16:00.000-05:00

My thanks to Tony Layne from Outside the Asylum, who selected me for The Liebster Blog, a chain award of sorts. This award lets us come across bloggers with smaller followings who are writing wonderful stuff!

Here are the rules:

Copy and paste the Major Award to my blog.
Link back the person who gave me the award.
Pick out five favorite blogs with less than 200 followers, and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they have received the award.
Hope that the five blogs chosen will keep spreading the love and pass it on to five more blogs.

~ My Picks ~

Mandi at Catholic Newlywed - Mandi has intrigued me from the moment I found her blog. She writes about meeting her husband online, marrying young, having a baby on a budget, and is a frequent guest poster for other blogs on various topics.

Sarah at A Beaten Copper Lamp - Sarah recently finished grad school, so you know she's very smart! Her posts cover a range of things, from museums, historical sites, Advent preparations, and chastity.

Katie at NFP and Me - Katie is a charming Catholic med student and wife. She is a loud and proud proponent of Natural Family Planning and host a great series on NFP.

Matt at Catholic Fried Rice - Matt is a talented guy I had the pleasure of knowing in college. He did a year of service with Francis Corps in Costa Rica and is a wonderful addition to the Catholic blogosphere.

Barbara at The Catholic Science Geek - Barbara is a Ph.D. candidate with a love of God, science, traveling, and books. Her blog often makes me comment, "SPOT ON."

Happy reading!

Help! I Hate Valentine's Day!

2012-02-08T09:00:00.002-05:00

Source: bakersroyale.com via Trista on Pinterest

Well, it's here. That time of year that is so wondrously celebrated by some and dreaded by others: St. Valentine's Day.

If you are single, take heart. Please don't fall into a pit of despair. When I was single on Valentine's (every year of my life until this year, by the way), I always enjoyed the day, and I've cooked up these little tips to making St. Valentine's fun for the single gal:

1. Dress up. Wear your favorite shirt or those jeans that fit you so well. Add a pop of color to your lips. Style your hair differently. Primp and embrace your beauty.

2. Go to Mass or Adoration. The Lord, the Author of Life, loves YOU. Make a date with him. Spend time with the Eternal Lover.

Still feeling down? Meditate on this:

The happiness you are seeking,

the happiness you have a right to enjoy,

has a name and a face:

Jesus of Nazareth.

- Pope Benedict XVI, August 18, 2005

3. Give out Valentine's Day cards, especially to your single friends. They don't have to be fancy - the ones you distributed during elementary school work just fine. I have been surprised and touched to visit friends in other states and see my Valentine's Day card posted in a prominent space. You can touch the lives of others with a simple note!

4. Call your family and tell them you love them. You are single, not alone.

5. Host a wine and chocolate movie night...BUT...no men-bashing allowed. I know, you've been hurt. Burned. Or you're lonely. You've heard bad stories, and you want to write all men off as jerks. But that's not fair. And this is a night of enjoyment! Bitterness is not welcome. If some idiot didn't realize how great you are, well, good riddance. Rejoice that you're not with him.

Source: google.com via Trista on Pinterest

6. However, if you need to have a quick cry, do, and then move on.

7. Affirm the good men in your life. Our culture encourages permanent Peter Pan behavior. Know a guy or two who doesn't buy into that? Thank him. Nice guys need to know we recognize them and value them.

8. When you see a coupley-couple, and you have the urge to either puke or rage, pray instead. "God bless them," works well.

9. Pray for your vocation and your future husband.

O Raphael, lead us towards those we are waiting for, those who are waiting for us! Raphael, Angel of Happy Meetings and Catholic singles, lead us by the hand towards those we are looking for! May all our movements, all their movements, be guided by your Light and transfigured by your Joy.

Angel Guide of Tobias, lay the request we now address to you at the feet of Him on whose unveiled Face you are privileged to gaze. Lonely and tired, crushed by the separations and sorrows of earth, we feel the need of calling to you and of pleading for

the protection of your wings, so that we may not be as strangers in the Province of Joy, all ignorant of the concerns of our country. Remember the weak, you who are strong--you whose home lies beyond the region of thunder, in a land that is always peaceful, always serene, and bright with the resplendent glory of God.

Amen.

~*~

Happy St. Valentine's Day! May you know you are loved!

Please feel free to leave comments, concerns, and pray requests in the combox.

Forming Good Habits: February 2012

2012-02-01T14:41:00.001-05:00

Kendra posted this afternoon about forming good habits. Strangely enough, I was thinking about this all morning, before seeing her post or Modern Mrs. Darcy's post.

Here are mine:

Pray the Magnificat morning prayer on my morning train ride

Stop by the church I pass on my walk to work and say a quick prayer

Drink a glass of water before pouring myself the first cup of coffee (at work)

Yoga once a week

Eliminate complaining about being long-distance

Compliment my parents daily

What are your thoughts?

Source: Uploaded by user via Kazuhiko on Pinterest

Dragons Exist

2012-01-30T14:21:00.001-05:00

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

G.K. Chesterton

Source: 4.bp.blogspot.com via Trista on Pinterest

Bright Maidens: March for Life Reflection

2012-01-24T06:00:00.002-05:00

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

Topic: March for Life Reflection

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

Julie at The Corner With A View

Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

Why March?

"America needs no words from me to see how your decision in Roe v. Wade has deformed a great nation. The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men. It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships. It has aggravated the derogation of the father's role in an increasingly fatherless society. It has portrayed the greatest of gifts -- a child -- as a competitor, an intrusion, and an inconvenience. It has nominally accorded mothers unfettered dominion over the independent lives of their physically dependent sons and daughters.

And, in granting this unconscionable power, it has exposed many women to unjust and selfish demands from their husbands or other sexual partners. Human rights are not a privilege conferred by government. They are every human being's entitlement by virtue of his humanity. The right to life does not depend, and must not be declared to be contingent, on the pleasure of anyone else, not even a parent or a sovereign." (Mother Teresa -- "Notable and Quotable," Wall Street Journal, 2/25/94, p. A14)

Our Lady of Guadalupe,
we turn to you who are the protectress of unborn children and

ask that you intercede for us,
so that we may more firmly resolve to join you in protecting all human life.

Let our prayers be united to your perpetual motherly intercession on behalf of those whose lives are threatened, be they in the womb of their mother, on the bed of infirmity, or in the latter years of their life.

May our prayers also be coupled with peaceful action which witnesses to the goodness and dignity of all human life,
so that our firmness of purpose may give courage to those who are fearful and bring light to those who are blinded by sin.

Encourage those who will be involved in the March for Life;
help them to walk closely with God and to give voice to the cry of the oppressed,
in order to remind out nation of its commitment to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for all people.

O Virgin Mother of God, present our petitions to your Son and ask Him to bless us with abundant life.

Amen.

Long Island Life Info: Become Apostles to Other Married Couples

2012-01-21T13:21:00.001-05:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: Among the fruits that ripen if the law of God be resolutely obeyed, the most precious is certainly this, that married couples themselves will often desire to communicate their own experience to others. Thus it comes about that in the fullness of the lay vocation will be included a novel and outstanding form of the apostolate by which, like ministering to like, married couples themselves by the leadership they offer will become apostles to other married couples. And surely among all the forms of the Christian apostolate it is hard to think of one more opportune for the present time. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 26)

How to Help: The Life Center of Long Island seeks items for its annual Pasta Dinner/Chinese Auction to be held March 25, 2012. They are seeking donations of movie/theatre tickets, gift cards, sports equipment, toys and games, bath and bodyworks, and more! If you are able to contribute, please contact Margie at 631-839-2854.

How to Get Help: Are you an adult with special needs or a friend/family member of one? The Office of Faith Formation is hosting a Mardi Gras Prayer Service and Brunch on Saturday, February 18th at 12 noon at St. Frances de Chantal Parish Center (Smulski Room), 1300 Wantagh Ave, Wantagh. Reservations and pre-payment is necessary for this event. Please view http://www.drvc-faith.org/assets/MardiGrasFlyer.pdf for more information.

Long Island Life Info: The Holiness and Joy of the Law

2012-01-16T13:07:00.000-05:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: In humble obedience then to her voice, let Christian husbands and wives be mindful of their vocation to the Christian life, a vocation which, deriving from their Baptism, has been confirmed anew and made more explicit by the Sacrament of Matrimony...For the Lord has entrusted to them the task of making visible to men and women the holiness and joy of the law which united inseparably their love for one another and the cooperation they give to God's love, God who is the Author of human life...For this reason husbands and wives should take up the burden appointed to them, willingly, in the strength of faith and of that hope which "does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." In this way, for sure, they will be able to reach that perfection of married life... (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 25)

How to Help: Can you crochet or knit? Rachel's Vineyard Retreat, the program for post-abortion healing for men and women, is in need of prayer shawls. The Life Center of Long Island will provide yarn. Please contact 516-798-9100 to help.

How to Get Help: Are you a college student or young adult looking for community, faith events, and friendship? Check out the Catholic Young Adults of the Diocese of Rockville Centre Meetup group! This group has over 100 members and frequently meets for dinners, Mass, game nights, prayer vigils, and happy hours. Check them out at: http://www.meetup.com/Catholic-Young-Adults-of-the-Diocese-of-Rockville-Centre/

Source: drvc.org via Trista on Pinterest

Bright Maidens: Angels

2012-01-15T18:29:00.000-05:00

Topic: Angels

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

Julie at The Corner With A View

Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

Jews, Muslims, Christians, and pagans all believe in angels. Want to know more?

Bishop Sheen on angels:

Long Island Life Info: Our next appeal is to men of science.

2012-01-08T15:45:00.001-05:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: Our next appeal is to men of science. These can "considerably advance the welfare of marriage and the family and also peace of conscience, if by pooling their efforts they strive to elucidate more thoroughly the conditions favorable to a proper regulation of births." It is supremely desirable...that medical science should by the study of natural rhythms succeed in determining a sufficiently secure basis for the chaste limitation of offspring. In this way scientists, especially those who are Catholics, will by their research establish the truth of the Church's claim that "there can be no contradiction between two divine laws—that which governs the transmitting of life and that which governs the fostering of married love." (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 24)

How to Help: In the United States, the infertility business is a multi-million dollar industry with a dark secret: many women face short-term and long-term medical problems after donating their eggs. If interested in learning more about and/or spreading the news of this harmful industry, contact The Life Center of Long Island (516-798-8746) to view the film Eggsploitation.

How to Get Help: Looking for various resources for Mom and Baby? Pro-Life events? Updates on Pro-Life laws and politics? Check out http://liprolife.wordpress.com/ for more information.

Bright Maidens: The Absolutely True Diary of a Virgin

2011-12-20T07:30:00.001-05:00

Topic:TLC's "Virgin Diaries"

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

Julie at The Corner With A View

Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

The Absolutely True Diary of a Virgin

The channel that brought us little people, super breeders, polygamists, and prancing toddlers has recently introduced a new rarity…late-in-life virgins! It is just as ridiculous as it sounds, but I’m not surprised an over-sexed culture is shocked by those who decide to abstain, whether for religious or other personal reasons. Nor am I surprised that the people it’s chosen to highlight are not the average virgins. Normal doesn't boost ratings.

Photo found here.

As I'm still on a blogging break, here are some links to past posts on virginity, sex, and chastity. Enjoy!

Wearing Crucifixes and Condoms

Pure Desires

On Dating Nice Catholic Girls

Three Strikes, I'm Out

Blood Boiling

Elder Sons, Pharisees, and Me

Long Island Life Info: There Are Other Ways

2011-12-18T19:54:00.002-05:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: And now We wish to speak to rulers of nations. To you most of all is committed the responsibility of safeguarding the common good...The family is the primary unit in the state; do not tolerate any legislation which would introduce into the family those practices which are opposed to the natural law of God. For there are other ways by which a government can and should solve the population problem—that is to say by enacting laws which will assist families and by educating the people wisely so that the moral law and the freedom of the citizens are both safeguarded. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 23)

How to Help: Life Decisions International (www.fightpp.org) publishes "The Boycott List" twice a year - in July and December. "The Boycott List" is a list of corporations that support Planned Parenthood through financial donations. The list includes the company contact information so pro-lifers can e-mail, call or write the company regarding its decision to help the nation's largest abortion business. You can subscribe to "The Boycott List" by contacting LDI at 540-631-0380 or PO Box 439, Front Royal, VA 22630.

How to Get Help: There are pro-life counseling centers all around Long Island. The Life Center of LI is located at 35 Willow St, Massapequa at East end of Sunrise Mall behind White Castle. Call 516-798-9100 for more details. The Life Center of LI at 507 Fulton Ave, Hempstead offers bilingual counseling. Call 516-408-6300 for more information.

Bright Maidens: Snow and Pastures

2011-12-10T17:13:00.001-05:00

Topic: "The Parable of the Lost Sheep."

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

Julie at The Corner With A View : This Little Piggy

Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray,

will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills

and go in search of the stray?

Mt 18:12-14

One winter when I was ten, my siblings and I were playing in the snow. Our littlest brother, not even a year old, was bundled up tightly, snug and secure in a sled. He was a cute, wee little thing, and I had the genius idea of dumping a shovel of snow on his head.

I wish I could tell you exactly why I did it. Did I not realize it might hurt him? That the shock of a face full of snow would make him cry? Was I still tinged with jealousy at the attention he received? I can't remember.

He began to cry and my mother turned from where she was playing with my sisters and brother. Her mouth dropped open, and I saw something flash across her face. "Trista! Did you...?" she asked.

Last winter

Suddenly ashamed and fearful, I bolted out of our yard. I heard her call for me as I struggled through the piles of snow (there had been a blizzard), and I startled with fear when I noticed she was running after me.

The next half hour was a blur as I crouched behind cars, hid in bushes, and looped the block, hoping she would stop following me.

All the while, my mom continued to call my name.

Finally, with tears and a runny nose, I let her catch me. "I'm sorry," I blubbered, crying into her puffy jacket.

"I know," she replied, hugging me. "C'mon, let's go back to the house. It's cold out here."

My mother is obviously not God, but in this instance she mirrored His Divine Love. I had done something stupid and hurtful; I, like the lost sheep, had wandered from the path. My mother never stopped chasing me, wanting to forgive me and bring me home. Likewise, God desires the same thing for all His children: that they be safe and at peace, with Him. How often do we not turn to Him or stop and listen to Him calling because we are fearful or anxious?

This Advent, I pray we all pause. Let Him catch us and bring us home again.

The Lord is my shepherd;

there is nothing I lack.

In green pastures he makes me lie down;

to still waters he leads me;

he restores my soul.

He guides me along right paths

for the sake of his name.

Psalm 23

"The Lord revealed at what cost these green pastures are purchased. He was not the Good Shepherd because He Provided economic plenty, but because He would lay down His life for His sheep. Once again the Cross appears under the symbol of the shepherd. The shepherd-patriarch Jacob and the shepherd-kind David now pass into the Shepherd-Savior, as the staff becomes a crook, the crook a scepter, and the scepter a Cross."

Life of Christ by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

Bright Maidens: Little Moments

2011-11-22T13:14:00.002-05:00

Topic: Moments that remind us God fully exists

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

Julie at The Corner With A View

Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

There are lots of little moments that remind me God exists:
I experience Him very strongly when I'm taking care of and playing with children. I hear an echo of His voice in theirs when they whisper, "Can I tell you something? I love you!" And what joy I experience when I say those words back to their shining little faces!

When I’m reading a book and get that “A ha! I’m not the only who’s thought that before!” triumphant feeling!

At baptisms, First Communions, Confirmations, weddings, and funerals (especially at funerals of my loved ones)!

Some of my siblings & cousins

When I'm hanging out with my goofy, beautiful, imperfect family!

In the friendships I've been blessed to have - both offline and online - with people who get me instantly and are always there for support!

When I think of the circumstances of a romance I never could have planned or dreamed up. Happy five months!

When I think of the lives of the saints - how daring, how bold, how devoted, and how totally themselves they were! Their love for God and faith in His existence pushes me forward in my own faith.

Examine the human body and tell me that was just an accident!

Lots more but I am writing on my lunch break! What are you moments? Please share with us!

Long Island Life Info: True Liberty

2011-11-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: We take this opportunity to address those who are engaged in education and all those whose right and duty it is to provide for the common good of human society. We would call their attention to the need to create an atmosphere favorable to the growth of chastity so that true liberty may prevail over license and the norms of the moral law may be fully safeguarded.

Everything therefore in the modern means of social communication which arouses men's baser passions and encourages low moral standards, as well as every obscenity in the written word and every form of indecency on the stage and screen, should be condemned publicly and unanimously by all those who have at heart the advance of civilization and the safeguarding of the outstanding values of the human spirit. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 22)

How to Help: The Diocesan Respect Life Office is excited to announce the 9th annual Youth Respect Life Contest for grades 7-8 Level 1, and grades 9-12 Level 2. All Catholic youngsters in the Rockville Centre Diocese attending Catholic Elementary, High Schools or parish programs including religious education, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, youth groups, youth choirs are invited to participate. To register, log onto http://drvc.org/respectlife.

How to Get Help: Growing in faith, hope and love is a life-long process that is essential to a truly happy, holy and lasting marriage. The United States Catholic Conference of Bishops hosts www.foryourmarriage.org. This wonderful website includes quizzes, date ideas, daily marriage tips, book reviews, and more! Also has a section for dating and engaged couples! Well worth checking out!

Long Island Life Info: It Brings to Family Life Abundant Fruits

2011-11-13T13:58:00.000-05:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: The right and lawful ordering of birth demands, first of all, that spouses fully recognize and value the true blessings of family life and that they acquire complete mastery over themselves and their emotions. For if with the aid of reason and of free will they are to control their natural drives, there can be no doubt at all of the need for self-denial. Only then will the expression of love, essential to married life, conform to right order. This is especially clear in the practice of periodic continence. Self-discipline of this kind is a shining witness to the chastity of husband and wife and, far from being a hindrance to their love of one another, transforms it by giving it a more truly human character. And if this self-discipline does demand that they persevere in their purpose and efforts, it has at the same time the salutary effect of enabling husband and wife to develop to their personalities and to be enriched with spiritual blessings. For it brings to family life abundant fruits of tranquility and peace. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 21)

How to Help: L.I. Teen Freedom needs your support! Consider becoming a L.I. Teen Freedom Angel, who donates $100 dollars a month for one year. With thirty pledges L.I. Teen Freedom is able to continue to go into schools across Long Island. Call 516.798.8746 for more info or to pledge any amount.

"The L. I. Teen Freedom program was a very important and educational program. I learned a lot from it and it changed a lot of ways I viewed sex…The Catholic Church teaches that people should wait until marriage to have sex. I think they teach this because sex is actually meant for married people." - 9th grader testimony

How to Get Help: Porn harms friendships, dating relationships, marriages, and children! Know a friend or loved one struggling from porn addiction? There are resources to combat this threatening addiction! Log onto http://www.pornharms.com/ for more information.

Long Island Life Info: A Resolute Purpose and Great Endurance

2011-11-07T08:00:00.002-05:00

The Church's Teaching of Life: The teaching of the Church regarding the proper regulation of birth is a promulgation of the law of God Himself. And yet there is no doubt that to many it will appear not merely difficult but even impossible to observe . Now it is true that like all good things...this law demands from individual men and women, from families and from human society, a resolute purpose and great endurance. Indeed it cannot be observed unless God comes to their help with the grace by which the goodwill of men is sustained and strengthened. But to those who consider this matter diligently it will indeed be evident that this endurance enhances man's dignity and confers benefits on human society. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 19)

How to Help: Drivers with vans are needed to pick up baby furniture (cribs, etc.) and deliver to the Life Center in Deer Park. If you have a little extra time for this important service, call Jack at (631) 724-3937.

How to Get Help: Want to stay connected to the Life Center of Long Island? Need a way to involve your teen or college student in the pro-life culture? Like the Life Center of Long Island's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/lifecenterlongisland

What Happens When We Hook Up?

2011-11-02T08:00:00.002-04:00

For more information, click here.

Long Island Life Info: She Defends the Dignity of Husband and Wife.

2011-10-30T16:48:00.001-04:00

Image: markuso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Church's Teaching of Life: In preserving intact the whole moral law of marriage, the Church is convinced that she is contributing to the creation of a truly human civilization. She urges man not to betray his personal responsibilities by putting all his faith in technical expedients. In this way she defends the dignity of husband and wife. This course of action shows that the Church, loyal to the example and teaching of the divine Savior, is sincere and unselfish in her regard for men whom she strives to help even now during this earthly pilgrimage "to share God's life as sons of the living God, the Father of all men." (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 18)

How to Help: Interested in the bio-chemistry of sex and how it affirms the Church's teachings on sexual love? Attend The Biology of the Theology of the Body Workshop on November 8 at 7 p.m. in St. Agnes Cathedral! Contact Diana Tellis at 516-678-5800 x 626 & 381 or dtellis@drvc.org to register. The event is free! Bring a friend!

How to Get Help: Scared? Worried? Facing an unexpected pregnancy? AAA Pregnancy Options is a caring, confidential center, which offers free pregnancy tests, counseling, alternatives to abortion, and arrangements for financial assistance. Call 516-798- 9100 for help.

à tout à l'heure

2011-10-24T11:37:00.000-04:00

Well, the time has finally come. I’ve pushed it off, berated myself for needing it, felt silly for thinking it, but have finally concluded it must happen.

I’m taking a blogging break.

But Trista, you may be thinking, you haven’t been posting much, and what you have been posting has been awfully short.

I know, and that’s exactly why I need a break. My brain is turned off. I’m tired.

I’m no more or less busy than anyone else, but I need this break.

Á tout à l'heure! See you soon!

Bright Maidens: Scapulars: I Feel Weird

2011-10-18T07:00:00.001-04:00

Topic: Scapulars

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

Julie at The Corner With A View

Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

Scapulars: I Feel Weird

An older lady at a Holy Hour recently cornered me in the bathroom to tell me about her life and Catholicism. She urged me to start wearing a scapular, and explained how her mother, who always wore one, died on a Friday, which means she was only in Purgatory for one day. According to this lady, the Virgin Mother visits Purgatory on Saturdays and takes all the souls who wore scapulars to Heaven.

Confession: I have very limited knowledge about scapulars. I don't even know if what that lady told me about them is true. I've seen them sold in Catholic stores, and sometimes they come in the mail, but the promises about Purgatory and Heaven? What is the history behind them? Where do they come from?

I deliberately didn't research anything about scapulars before this post because I wanted to present my honest confusion and lack of knowledge about them. I think other Catholics may have the same feelings, which may be born from ignorance, hearsay, and lack of context regarding scapulars. This is an aspect of Catholicism that makes me feel...weird.

I'm excited to read and learn more about this topic from my fellow Bright Maidens and contributors.

Long Island Life Info

2011-10-07T07:00:00.001-04:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: “Responsible men can become more deeply convinced of the truth of the doctrine laid down by the Church on this issue if they reflect on the consequences of methods and plans for artificial birth control. Let them first consider how easily this course of action could open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards. Not much experience is needed to be fully aware of human weakness and to understand that human beings—and especially the young, who are so exposed to temptation—need incentives to keep the moral law, and it is an evil thing to make it easy for them to break that law. Another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.” (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 17)

How You Can Help: Help build the Project Rachel Ministry network by participating in a one day training session presented by Vicki Thorn. Project Rachel is a post-abortion healing ministry, which has touched the lives of many men and women. The event takes place on November 8 at the Seminary of the Immaculate Conception in Huntington and is free! Call 516-678-5800 exts. 626 or 381 for more information.

How to Get Help: Couples interested in Natural Family Planning -- the natural, effective, and moral approach to achieving or postponing pregnancy -- are invited to attend the next session on November 11th. If you would like more information, call 516-678-5800 ext. 204.

Pure Desires

2011-10-06T08:00:00.000-04:00

The idea of pure desires might sound contradictory to you, but chastity means being sexually attracted, but choosing the greater good for the other. It means you allow God's love to permeate your affections. In order for this to happen, we must first throw aside the false notion that religion and sexuality are at enmity with one another. Could it be possible that erotic love could be pure? Could sexual intimacy be sanctifying? In God's plan for sex, the answer to both questions can be an emphatic yes!

Although in the past you may have used your body in a way that drove you and others further from God, you are still made in His image and likeness. Your body is still capable of expressing the love of the Blessed Trinity. This is quite a calling. But you're worthy of nothing less.

- How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul by Jason and Crystalina Evert (152)

Dante Had Virgil; My Brother Has...Me?

2011-10-05T10:00:00.003-04:00

My post Dante Had Virgil; My Brother Has...Me? is up over at VirtuousPla.Net! Please check it out! I'm asking for suggestions for Confirmation sponors!

"The requirements for sponsors are pretty simple. According to the General Introduction of the Rite of Christian Initiation, paragraphs 8 - 10, one must be:

Dante and Virgil

at least sixteen years old and
baptized and confirmed and received the Eucharist
living an upright life
No penalties (e.g., left the Church, etc.). Therefore, a Catholic who has left the Catholic Church cannot be a sponsor, and cannot be a "Christian witness" if they join another Christian communion.

Although I fit all these requirements, I know I must seriously conform to “living an upright life.” If I’m to lead my brother in the next stages of choosing the Church for himself, I need to be a worthy guide. Dante had Virgil; my brother has…me? Gulp!"

Bright Maidens: Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters

2011-10-04T15:53:00.000-04:00

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

Topic: Emotional Chastity

Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters

Elizabeth at Startling the Day with "Easy Bake Love Story"

Julie at The Corner With A View

Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

It happens all the time. You bump into a man on the street. He smiles charmingly and holds the door for you. You walk away, maybe shooting him a backwards glance, and can't help but think, "Maybe he's the one." What a kind, cute gentleman. Good qualities for your man.

You daydream as you eat your lunch, and the day passes by in a blur of warmth, hope, and affection. He could be the one. You imagine your first dates, his proposal, your glorious wedding. The laughter of your kids as they run through the house. His hand in yours as your face life, together.

It doesn't seem so wrong to pass the time daydreaming like this, but in reality, it is frightening: you are building an emotional bond with a man to whom you haven't spoken more than three words! Sometimes with a man who doesn't even exist! I've been emotionally invested in many fictional characters, and the age of middle school and high school was ripe for idealized obsession of pop stars, actors, and the boy in my science class! What is the fruit of that emotional bond? Usually disappointment, hurt, and worry. It is better to have not built that bond in the first place.

The danger of emotional chastity does not stop there. It can worm it's way into dating relationships and marriage. A woman in a dating relationship may amplify her beloved's qualities to the point that she no longer sees him for who he is. Her "love" is not real and is not based in reality. As Edward Sri explains in Men, Women and the Mystery of Love, "The most tragic effect of sentimental idealization is that we end up not really knowing the person we find so attractive. A man in sentimental love may seek to be close to his beloved, spend a lot of time talking with her, and even go to Mass with her and pray with her. If he has idealized her, though, in reality he remains quite distant from her: The powerful affection he feels depends not on her true value, but only on the ideal values that he has projected on to her." (50)

Like sexuality, emotional attachment has to be integrated into the fullness of the person, otherwise it can be disastrous. A couple who takes idealized versions of each other into marriage will have a serious crisis upon realization they married someone they do not know and do not authentically love. They may then be open to the temptations of emotional cheating and adultery.

What can we do to safeguard ourselves from false love and dangerous emotional intimacy? Edward Sri (57) suggests pondering these questions:

Am I committed to this other person for who he is or for the enjoyment I receive from the relationship?

Does my beloved understand what is truly best for me, and does he have the faith and virtue to help me get there?

Are we deeply united by a common aim, servicing each other and striving together toward a common good that is higher than each of us? Or are we just living side-by-side, sharing resources and occasional good times together while we selfishly pursue our own interests and enjoyments in life?

I would add: Guard your heart. When the temptation to fantasize about life with a stranger presents itself, pray for that person instead. Identify what prompted that temptation. Are you lonely? Tired? Frustrated? Jealous? Take those emotions to Jesus. You don't have to guard your heart around him! Reach out in kindness and interest in getting to know the other as person. Take things slowly. Pray for wisdom and grace to authentically see and love each other. Invite your beloved to spend time with your family and friends. Value their opinions on your relationship.

We are called to love as God loves, and not to love for our own sake, but to glorify the Lord. Avoid being an emotional disaster and a daydream believer: love people for who they are.

A More Visible Witness (over at VirtuousPla.net)

2011-09-28T09:56:00.001-04:00

A More Visible Witness

My heart broke. I had recently lost my grandfather – his funeral Mass hadn’t even happened yet! – and life seemed infinitely more precious. At least my grandpa had loved and been loved by God, his wife, his children, his grandchildren and friends. In the face of abortion, I found myself unable to deeply mourn his death. Of course I loved him and had always envisioned him around for years to come, but he’d had a full life and a natural death! In contrast, abortion, done in name of false freedom, had taken the lives of 53,506,957 children since Roe v. Wade in 1973...

Check it out!

Long Island Life Info

2011-09-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: Neither the Church nor her doctrine is inconsistent when she considers it lawful for married people to take advantage of the infertile period but condemns as always unlawful the use of means which directly prevent conception, even when the reasons given for the later practice may appear to be upright and serious...It cannot be denied that in each case the married couple, for acceptable reasons, are both perfectly clear in their intention to avoid children and wish to make sure that none will result. But it is equally true that it is exclusively in the former case that husband and wife are ready to abstain from intercourse during the fertile period as often as for reasonable motives the birth of another child is not desirable. And when the infertile period recurs, they use their married intimacy to express their mutual love and safeguard their fidelity toward one another. In doing this they certainly give proof of a true and authentic love. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 16)

How to Help: Pray for the end of abortion! Join the prayer vigil outside of the Planned Parenthood abortion facility in Hempstead, between 7:00AM and 7:00PM daily, for one or more hours during the 40 Days For Life. For more information or to sign up for the vigil check out www.40daysforlife.com/LongIsland or call the Long Island Coalition for Life at 631-243-1435.

How to Get Help: Interested in the bio-chemistry of sex and how it affirms the Church's teachings on sexual love? Attend The Biology of the Theology of the Body Workshop on November 8 at 7 p.m. in St. Agnes Cathedral! Contact Diana Tellis at 516-678-5800 x 626 & 381 or dtellis@drvc.org to register. The event is free! This is one you do not want to miss!

Bright Maidens: Sensible, Courageous, and Very Beautiful

2011-09-20T07:00:00.005-04:00

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

Topic: "What is the distinction between being sexy vs. being desirable?"

Elizabeth at Startling the Day
Julie at The Corner With A View
Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

"Now the girl is sensible, courageous, and very beautiful."

- St. Raphael, describing Sarah to Tobiah

I am not Megan Fox.

When I was in college, a group of guys used to call me "Megan Fox." Though they meant it to be flattering, I always felt uncomfortable with the nickname. "I don't really look like her," I'd say with a laugh, hoping they'd agree and forget it. You see, I'd never heard anyone saying something about Megan Fox's brain or the tender way she cared for her then-boyfriend/now-husband's son. No, she was reduced to one word: sexy. Or two words: smoking hot.

Did I want to be viewed the same way? No, thanks! Although it's nice to be considered attractive, sexuality has to be integrated and viewed in light of the total person. It is relational in that way. Taken apart from the whole person, it becomes objectification, the reduction of a person to one aspect: one's ability to have sex.

There was another way I wanted to be viewed, though I wasn't able to articulate it then. I wanted to be desirable, to be someone described as "having pleasing qualities or properties...worth seeking...attractive." (That's from the dictionary, not a faith book, friends!) Desirable doesn't crown sexuality as the most important aspect of a woman, nor does it deny sexuality. It just integrates it. You are wanted for more than your body! You are worth more than your body shape or size! You're a woman a man can pursue, not just a woman who can arouse.

Having Pleasing Qualities.

As Catholic women, we are called to imitate Our Blessed Mother. In the conclusion of Mulieris Dignitatem, Pope John Paul II said Mary is the model " in the matter of faith, charity, and perfect union with Christ." The pleasing qualities we are to have are not based on fashion, technological skill, degrees, or abilities. We are to be women of prayer, who are full of virtues, and treat others with honesty, kindness, and love. We are to be totally open to the Holy Spirit, to invite others to be Saints, and to encourage them to union with Christ.

Worth Seeking.

As Catholic women, we are secure in the Lord. With that beautiful stability, we do not need to chase men and seek their approval as an affirmation of our lives. Even when it is lonely, we are content to be women who are worth being sought, so that only the bravest and brightest of men pursue us. We value sexuality and invite others to do the same. This is a stark contrast to the hook up culture, where no one, especially men, needs to pursue, discern, abstain, or sacrifice.

Attractive.

It is not our place as friends and girlfriends to be sexually suggesting with the men in our lives. Men don't need any additional graphics or words to throw a wrench in their efforts to live chastely. They need women who respect and aid their desire to live chastely; in turn, they will do the same for us.

This doesn't mean we have to hide our beauty and our sexuality, either! We just integrate it and ask others to follow our example. One day when we're married, sexiness with be an aspect of our chaste lives, but at this time it has to be kept on the down low.

I have a really good excuse, promise!

2011-09-18T11:59:00.000-04:00

So, I didn't go to my parish picnic.

I know, I know! Tsk, tsk, Trista.

I had to attend the Welcome Mass and Family BBQ at my siblings' high school,which overlapped with the parish picnic, and then took a seat for the AMAZING We are the Beggars Tour, featuring Audrey Assad, Ike Ndolo Band, and missionary Ennie Hickman of Adore Ministries. The event was hosted by Adelphi University's Newman Club, so a big thanks to them.

Now, I'm sure I'll get some tsks for this, too, but I was not very familiar with either performers before last night. I'm now a solid fan! They were wonderful!

Click here to find out if the tour is swinging by you!

Audrey:

Ike Ndolo Band:

Being Single.

2011-09-15T11:17:00.001-04:00

Check out my post on Being Single over at Virtuous Planet!.

This weekend is my parish picnic, and I’m having a hard time deciding if I should attend. I’m part of the parish family, so I have a place, and I should be there. But I’m also a never-been-married Catholic adult, and in the past, at previous picnics, I’ve felt left out. As I’ve stood around looking for a way to introduce myself, I’ve seen married couples chatting with other married couples; families who know each other from school, sports, and Religious Ed; kids running around like crazy; older parishioners sharing jokes; and then…me.

I am one of the 13 million never-been-married Catholic adults in the United States, and I don’t always feel like I fit in. We are an odd bunch. Though we can be grouped as “never-been-married,” that is where most of our similarities end. We have a variety of needs, a variety of faith formation experiences and knowledge, and a large age gap. There are never-been-married Catholics who are twenty-four (hello!) and never-been-married Catholics who are sixty. For some, “never-been-married” is a transitional state; for others, it’s permanent, but the catch is we don’t really know which state is ours. Overall, it’s hard to pin us down.

I would love to have more married couples chime in!

Long Island Life Info

2011-09-11T17:51:00.001-04:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: On the other hand, the Church does not consider at all illicit the use of those therapeutic means necessary to cure bodily diseases, even if a foreseeable impediment to procreation should result there from—provided such impediment is not directly intended for any motive whatsoever. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 15)

How You Can Help: Stand Up for Life! will be held on October 2, 2011 on Rtes. 110 & 25, Huntington, and off the LIE at Exit 70. Fore more information, contact Ann Cook of the Huntington site at 631-754-9141 or check out http://www.prolifeli.org/

How to Get Help: Need guidance about health care and treatments for yourself and loved ones? Attend the End of Life Conference on Thursday, October 13, 2011 from 7 - 9 p.m. at the St. Agnes Cathedral Parish Center. Please RSVP by October 1st by calling the Respect Life Office: (516) 678-5800 Exts. 626 & 381

Image: Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A Pilgrimage, Not A Vacation

2011-09-07T07:52:00.000-04:00

The following days were a blur of sessions at the Love and Life Centre, Morning Prayer with my group, spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament, cheering for Pope Benedict, participating in Mass, and making friends with other pilgrims in the streets. I joined in a dance circle of Spanish pilgrims, traded knickknacks with South Koreans, and brushed up on my rudimentary Italian when squished against a group from Tuscany in the Metro. Every pilgrim exuded such happiness despite being tired, hungry, and constantly thirsty. By the end of the week, my heart felt stretched...

I'm over at Virtuous Pla.net today with "A Pilgrimage, Not A Vacation" about my World Youth Day experience. Check it out!

Bright Maidens: Feminine Genius: The Interior: Peace Within

2011-09-06T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today's Topic: The Feminine Genius: The Interior

Elizabeth at Startling the Day
Julie at The Corner With A View - "Made in the Image of God?" Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

Peace Within

Peace within makes beauty without.

English Proverb

The two Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal who traveled with my World Youth Day group were awe inspiring. When we were tired, they raised our spirits. When we were cranky, they taught us songs. When our feet ached, they prayed with us and kept our minds off our hurting toes. Trust me, they had hard jobs, but at every opportunity they succeeded, offering us joy, hope, solace, friendship, and love. They continually pointed us back to Jesus, even when we didn’t want to be oriented to Him due to laziness, foul moods, hunger, or thirst. I never heard them complain of the heat (and boy, was it hot) or bemoan the food (which, at times, was gross) or gripe about lack of sleep (of which there really was little). Through it all, they remained truly beautiful and truly peaceful. Their faces radiated with the joy they so often spoke of finding in the Lord.

Sister E.'s Big Smile

Their beauty and peace was very attractive. Two of the married/engaged women of our group looked at the Sisters carefully, wondering how to attain that level of peace and joy that emanated from the Sisters, in their married lives. Can it be done? they wondered. There are many religious Saints and priest Saints, but not many married Saints. Can holiness be found as readily in marriage? Is the peace and beauty the Sisters possessed something granted to religious only?

The more I pondered these questions, the more convinced I was this could not be true. “Holiness is not the luxury of a few people, but a simple duty for you and me,” Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta said. The Church promotes the universal call to holiness and that holiness can be achieved in every person, vocation, and station in life. It’s my deep belief that although there are a handful of happily married Saints officially canonized, there are thousands more unknown but to God, the communion of Saints, and their families and friends.

What made religious life such an attractive vocation when witnessed by the Sisters? Was it just their vocation lived out so beautifully or were they pointing to a deeper vocation, one found in the heart of every woman? “Woman can only hand herself by giving love to others. The moral and spiritual strength of a woman is joined to her awareness that God entrusts the human being to her in a special way,” Pope John Paul II wrote in Mulieris Dignitatem, the Papal Encyclical on the Dignity and Vocation of Women.

Image: Sujin Jetkasettakorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Of course," he further explained, "God entrusts every human being to each and every other human being. But this entrusting concerns women in a special way - precisely by reason of their femininity - and this in a particular way determines their vocation… This awareness and this fundamental vocation speak to women of the dignity which they receive from God himself, and this makes them "strong" and strengthens their vocation.”

The Sisters loved us at every moment. They were living their vocation as women, as religious, faithfully, totally, and constantly, and I think that’s why our hearts all skipped a beat when we watched them. We were attracted to the beauty and peace that surrounded them as a result of their total yes to God, and our hearts longed for the same thing. Thankfully, God wants all women to have this peace and beauty, too. It is a natural result of holiness, and as we live the universal vocation of women - to receive and give love in our feminine way- they will grow in us as well.

I will let God’s peace infuse every part of today. As the chaos swirls and life’s demands pull at me

on all sides, I will breathe in God’s peace that surpasses all understanding.

He has promised that He would set within me a peace too deeply planted

to be affected by unexpected or exhausting demands.

Calm me, O Lord, as you still the storm,

Still me, O Lord, keep me from harm.

Let all the tumult within me cease,

Enfold me, Lord, in your peace.

Celtic traditional

Long Island Life Info

2011-09-05T18:40:00.000-04:00

Image: markuso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Church's Teaching on Life: We are obliged once more to declare that the direct interruption of the generative process already begun and, above all, all direct abortion...are to be absolutely excluded as lawful means of regulating the number of children. Equally to be condemned is direct sterilization. Neither is it valid to argue, as a justification for sexual intercourse which is deliberately contraceptive, that a lesser evil is to be preferred to a greater one, or that such intercourse would merge with procreative acts of past and future to form a single entity, and so be qualified by exactly the same moral goodness as these...Consequently, it is a serious error to think that a whole married life of otherwise normal relations can justify sexual intercourse which is deliberately contraceptive and so intrinsically wrong. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 14)

How to Help: Pray for the end of abortion! Join the 40 Days for Life: September 28 - November 6th! Pro-lifers throughout Long Island are invited to take part in the national 40 Days for Life. In addition to 40 days of prayer and fasting for an end to abortion in America, please join the prayer vigil outside of the Planned Parenthood abortion facility in Hempstead, between 7:00AM and 7:00PM, for one or more hours during the 40 days. For more information or to sign up for the vigil check out www.40daysforlife.com/LongIsland or call the Long Island Coalition for Life at 631-243-1435.

How to Get Help: MOMMAS House is a home for young mothers aged 17 to 23 years and their babies. For approximately two years, young mothers at MOMMAS House can continue education or vocational experience interrupted by pregnancy. For more information, call 516-781-8637.

Quick Takes (33) : World Youth Day Snapshots

2011-08-26T07:00:00.006-04:00

1. Saw the sun rise every day.

2. Went to wonderful events at the Love & Life Center for English-speaking pilgrims!

3. Visited Avila, home of Teresa of Avila!

4. VIVA EL PAPA!

Esta es la juventud del papa!

5. My group with our Bishop, William Murphy!

6. Traded information with a Lebanese Catholic named Miriam while waiting to get into the Palacio de Real!

7. Turned 24!

Keep the Window Clean

2011-08-21T08:00:00.004-04:00

Irish window, a photo by ImagesByClaire on Flickr.

And, as our Blessed Lord said, "Blessed are the clean of heart, the pure of heart, for they shall see God."

Purity gives us vision. If the window was dirty, the light can not come in. If our morals are bad, then the faith and the light of God cannot come into us. So, keep yourselves clean.

- Fulton J. Sheen

Long Island Life Info

2011-08-17T08:00:00.001-04:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: Men rightly observe that a conjugal act imposed on one's partner without regard to his or her condition or personal and reasonable wishes in the matter, is no true act of love, and therefore offends the moral order in its particular application to the intimate relationship of husband and wife. If they further reflect, they must also recognize that an act of mutual love which impairs the capacity to transmit life which God the Creator, through specific laws, has built into it, frustrates His design which constitutes the norm of marriage, and contradicts the will of the Author of life.

Hence to use this divine gift while depriving it, even if only partially, of its meaning and purpose, is equally repugnant to the nature of man and of woman, and is consequently in opposition to the plan of God and His holy will. But to experience the gift of married love while respecting the laws of conception is to acknowledge that one is not the master of the sources of life but rather the minister of the design established by the Creator. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 13)

How To Help: Please attend the weekly prayer vigil on the sidewalk in front of the Planned Parenthood of Nassau County Center at 540 Fulton Avenue, Hempstead, every Saturday from 8 a.m. to 12 noon. For more info, call 741-3405.

How To Get Help: Scared, confused, and facing an unexpected pregnancy? Birthright of Nassau is a caring, confidential center, which offers free pregnancy tests, free maternity and baby clothes, and referrals to local community services. For more information visit the center at 103 South Tyson, Floral Park or call 516-502-4423.

Bright Maidens: Dresses & the Apostolate of Beauty

2011-08-15T08:00:00.002-04:00

Feminine Genius: The Dress

Check Bright Maidens on Facebook for more posts on this topic!

Photo credit: red and apples,

During my high school orientation, the Dean of Students explained that school was taken seriously, and just as the teachers had a uniform (suits and ties for the men; dresses, skirts, or slacks for the women), students were required to wear the same. We had the same job, whether teacher or student, and our uniform set a professional tone.

In the same way, dresses can set the tone for femininity. I feel different in a dress. Prettier. More confident. My smile stretches just a little bit wider. I beam at the world and chime hello to animals, children, nature, men, and women - everyone and everything. Life is just too sweet to keep to myself, and people seem to respond. Kids smile back. Gentlemen hold doors. Strangers share jokes on the elevator.

I’m not saying wearing a dress brings femme fatale powers – just that when you feel beautiful, you act beautiful, and you are beautiful! And that beauty is important to the world! Fulton Sheen once spoke of the Apostolate of Beauty in a very positive way. “The Apostolate of Beauty. Do not be ashamed to think of that,” he instructed. “You are young, attractive, but the mere fact that you are young, you are vivacious - do you realize that when beauty is virtuous, it is far more appealing than anything else? You recognize that I have power the good Lord has given me, the power of word, but he has given to you this other power. And it's more powerful, really, because as a wise old Greek said, "Everyone loves beauty."

The world aches for God’s beauty. So find whatever makes you feel beautiful – cherry lipstick, dresses, curly hair, sparkly earrings, sans make up, flattering jeans, a bright smile, whatever it is - and embrace it as another way God lets his love shine.

Quick Takes (32): 7 World Youth Day Quick Takes

2011-08-12T17:51:00.001-04:00

1. On Sunday night, I head to Spain with my World Youth Day group! Please say a prayer for us as we travel!

2. It's not too late to list your prayer intentions for World Youth Day! Please give me something to pray about! :)

3. I'm hoping to catch a screening of There Be Dragons since I didn't catch it here in the US. Woohoo!

4. The Love & Life Center, hosted by the Sisters of Life and Knights of Columbus, looks like it is going to be amazing! Jason & Crystalina Evert, Fr. Barron, Catholic Underground, and other awesome groups will be there!

5. It's really fun to see how excited my sister C. is! This will be her first time in Europe, and she has been steadily packing and buying supplies all week.

6. My group is also taking a day trip to Avila! I can't wait to tour the place! St. Teresa, pray for us! Apparently there is a sweet made there called "Yemas de Ávila," and I will certainly taste test them for us all.

7. When you next hear from me (besides a few scheduled posts), I'll be 24!

Have a lovely two weeks!
I won't be blogging again until the week of August 29th.

Itching for Tuesday's "Feminine Genius: The Dress"

2011-08-10T21:28:00.000-04:00

I just read this quote while researching the feminine genius and can't wait til Tuesday's "Feminine Genius: The Dress" topic to post it! Impatience, thy name is Trista.

Without further ado...

"In this vast domain of service, the Church's two-thousand-year history, for all its historical conditioning, has truly experienced the "genius of woman"; from the heart of the Church there have emerged women of the highest calibre who have left an impressive and beneficial mark in history. I think of the great line of woman martyrs, saints and famous mystics. In a particular way I think of Saint Catherine of Siena and of Saint Teresa of Avila, whom Pope Paul VI of happy memory granted the title of Doctors of the Church.

And how can we overlook the many women, inspired by faith, who were responsible for initiatives of extraordinary social importance, especially in serving the poorest of the poor?

The life of the Church in the Third Millennium will certainly not be lacking in new and surprising manifestations of "the feminine genius".

- Letter of Pope John Paul II to Women, 1995.

An Invitation to My Online Friends - World Youth Day 2011

2011-08-08T13:33:00.000-04:00

Dear friends,

As you know, I'm heading to World Youth Day on Sunday. I am so excited to share this time with my little sister (read more about that here in the August issue of St. Anthony Messenger; we're #3 in the World Youth Day section), new friends from my Diocese, a dynamic priest, and other Young Adult Catholics from around the globe.

What you don't know is that I'll be missing you, my dear online friends, terribly. Whenever I walk into Young Adult Catholic events, I wish you were all there with me and wish our conversations didn't have to be virtual all the time. At World Youth Day, the largest Young Adult Catholic event, I know I'll feel the same way.

I invite you to leave prayer intentions with me. I will offer them up every day, and will keep you close to my heart while away from the online community, and thus you'll be involved with my experience there, too! Please feel free to leave your intentions in the comment box or to send them to me at notaminx (at) gmail.com.

Please pray for safe travels for all the pilgrims!

St. Raphael, patron saint of travelers, intercede for us!

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati and Bl. John Paul II, patrons of World Youth Day, pray for us!

Sick Day Giggles - Average is the New Exceptional

2011-08-08T11:28:00.002-04:00

Quick Takes (31): Hey Aunt Jemima!

2011-08-05T17:36:00.002-04:00

1. This week I went to my town pool for the first time this summer! Yes, first time! What have I been doing every other weekend?

...

I have no idea.

2. I finished Stephanie Meyer's The Host, and I have to say I loved it! There were some Twilight-esque situations, but overall, very different and very interesting. If you like sci-fi with a hint of romance, The Host is for you.

3. I posted this on my Facebook the other day. See if you can spot the major mistake! - Young Adult Catholics' Happy Hour and Karaoke - Tonight @ 7:30 - O'Carroll's Recovery Room, Mineola! All are welcome! We're also collecting new socks from the homeless. Hope to see you there!

4. If you spotted the error, I hope you're chuckling! The Happy Hour was a blast - good food, fine drinks, and the dulcet sounds of karaoke. We had about 12 people attend!

5. One thing I love about family is how used to one's quirks they are. For instance, I love having curly hair (naturally, mine is straight), so I sleep with soft curlers in quite regularly. I cover those curlers up with a long pink scarf, so it looks like I'm wearing a turban.

My dad is so used to this look that he didn't realize I was wearing a pink turban until breakfast was almost over.

"Hey Aunt Jemima, what's with the headwrap?" he smirked.

6. I very cleverly replied, "Dad, you are so annoying."

7. In exciting Bright Maidens news, August 16 launches the first in a series on the "Feminine Genius." This topic is entitled, "Feminine Genius: The Dress." Check Elizabeth's blog for more details (#7).

Bright Maidens: Summer Reading

2011-08-02T07:00:00.001-04:00

Elizabeth at Startling the Day
Julie at The Corner With A View
Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

Topic: Summer Reading

Beloved Reads

One Two

Three Four

Five Six

Seven Eight

This assortment of books brings you (one) a retelling of the lives of Jacob, Esau, Leah, and Rachel (Genesis 25 and 27-29) set in Scotland; (two) a heartfelt, heartwarming, and thought-provoking novel of the lives of Mary and Joseph before Jesus (not sure if it's 100% Catholic); (three) the whimsical, hilarious, and entertaining tales of Norse mythology; (four) a book on the nine Enneagram personality types; (five) C.S. Lewis' brilliant work depicting a higher-up demon advising a lower-demon on how to tempt mortals; (six) the ever-delightful Harry Potter series, which highlights the struggle between good and evil (and does not, in my opinion, push children to the occult); (seven) play about Sir Thomas More - layperson, husband, father, and Saint!; and (eight) a self-help book on loving those around you.

Currently Reading

The Gift of Faith, by Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer

Divine Mercy In My Soul: The Diary of St. Faustina
The Host, by Stephanie Meyer
(er, yes, that Stephanie Meyer! And it's really, really good!)

Revolution, by Jennifer Donnelly

Siren, by Tricia Rayburn

To Read

Set Free to Love: Lives Changed by the Theology of the Body, by Marcel LeJeune
A Stolen Life, by Jaycee Dugard
Of Thee I Zing, by Laura Ingraham

Long Island Life Info

2011-07-31T08:00:00.004-04:00

Image from here.

The Church's Teaching on Life: The reason is that the fundamental nature of the marriage act, while uniting husband and wife in the closest intimacy, also renders them capable of generating new life—and this as a result of laws written into the actual nature of man and of woman. And if each of these essential qualities, the unitive and the procreative, is preserved, the use of marriage fully retains its sense of true mutual love and its ordination to the supreme responsibility of parenthood to which man is called. We believe that our contemporaries are particularly capable of seeing that this teaching is in harmony with human reason. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 12)

How To Help: Drivers with vans are needed to pick up baby furniture (cribs, etc.) and deliver to the Life Center in Deer Park. If you have a little extra time for this important service, call Jack at (631)724-3937.

How To Get Help: Scared? Worried? Facing an unexpected pregnancy? AAA Pregnancy Options is a caring, confidential center, which offers free pregnancy tests, counseling, alternatives to abortion, and arrangements for financial assistance. Call 516-798- 9100 for help.

World Youth Day 2011 - The Church Needs You!

2011-07-30T17:46:00.000-04:00

Dear friends, once again I invite you to attend World Youth Day in Madrid. I await each of you with great joy. Jesus Christ wishes to make you firm in faith through the Church. The decision to believe in Jesus Christ and to follow him is not an easy one. It is hindered by our personal failures and by the many voices that point us towards easier paths. Do not be discouraged. Rather, look for the support of the Christian community, the support of the Church! ...

Dear young people, the Church depends on you! She needs your lively faith, your creative charity and the energy of your hope. Your presence renews, rejuvenates and gives new energy to the Church. That is why World Youth Days are a grace, not only for you, but for the entire People of God. The Church in Spain is actively preparing to welcome you and to share this joyful experience of faith with you. I thank the dioceses, parishes, shrines, religious communities, ecclesial associations and movements, and all who are hard at work in preparing for this event. The Lord will not fail to grant them his blessings. May the Virgin Mary accompany you along this path of preparation. At the message of the angel, she received God’s word with faith. It was in faith that she consented to what God was accomplishing in her. By proclaiming her “fiat”, her “yes”, she received the gift of immense charity which led her to give herself entirely to God. May she intercede for each one of you so that, in the coming World Youth Day you may grow in faith and love. I assure you of a paternal remembrance in my prayers and I give you my heartfelt blessing.

From the Vatican, 6 August 2010, Feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord.

Quick Takes (30): A Bibliophile in Brooklyn

2011-07-29T16:24:00.001-04:00

1. Whoops, I didn't post any Quick Takes last week! Hope you didn't miss me too much ;D

Revel in my domesticity

2. After reading Julie's post Confessions of an Un-Domestic, I've been thinking about getting more hands on experience in being domestic. My first opportunity came on Sunday, when my mom was out of town, and my dad was thinking about dinner. I quickly whipped up my go-to meal: pasta, sauce, and veggies. This time I made fettuccini (from a box) with vodka sauce (from a jar) and (the bit I'm most proud of) sauteed green beans and tomatoes in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Yes, dear friends, I sauteed something!! It was delicious!

3. Last Tuesday I attended Catholic NYC's "What Is Marriage" Panel & Discussion. Sherif Girgis, Robert P. George, and Ryan T. Anderson presented the arguments, based solely on natural law and reasoning, that marriage can be and is only between one man and one woman. I urge you to read their argument here. They were fabulous speakers!

4. One of the most powerful aspects of their presentation was their focus on natural law and basic reasoning. As people of faith, Christians are usually very eager to point out that marriage was designed by God. This is true, and a proper point, but it does nothing to convince proponents of same-sex marriage to defend traditional marriage. I think it actually hurts our cause - many will immediately close their hearts and minds just because faith is involved. "You can't impose your morals on us," they respond quickly. It's a shame. We must speak in ways that will keep their minds and hearts open, and I think this may mean downplaying the faith-based reasons.

5. In just a few short weeks, I'm heading out to World Youth Day! I'll write a post in the future to invite you to leave any prayer intentions with me. I'll pray for you during the Mass with Papa B!

6. On Tuesday the Bright Maidens will be posting about Summer Reading! Please join us! I want to know what's on your to-read, must-read, and beloved-reading lists!

7. One last note for all the bibliophiles: Don't put your nose so far into a book that you don't look up once until you're in the middle of Brooklyn and realize you took the wrong train and are thirty minutes late for work. Not that I'm speaking from experience, mind you! ;)

Have a lovely weekend!

National Natural Family Planning Awareness Week

2011-07-25T10:00:00.002-04:00

Happy National Natural Family Planning Awareness Week!

Natural Family Planning is the natural, inexpensive, reliable method to planning or postponing pregnancy. Unlike birth control pills, there are no harmful side effects!

Last week fireofthylove.com encouraged bloggers to participate in a "Say Yes to Life" Blog Carnival as a counter-Carnival to the National Woman's Law Center and Planned Parenthood's "Birth Control: We've Got You Covered" event.

I was unable to participate but encourage you to read all the posts, listed here:

Fire of Thy Love: My Post, The Truth About Sex
Fire of Thy Love: My Wife’s Post, Her Take on NFP
Day in the Life:YES to Life and No to Birth Control
Isidore’s Digital Doorway: Say Yes! To Life
Team Orthodoxy Startling the Day: Freedom
The Fringe Economist: Dissecting the Lies of the Pro-Choice Movement
Accepting Abundance: Six Years Later
The Corner with a View: Evil Don’t Look Like Anything
The Nerdy Wife: Children are Always Blessings
Rowles Family Four: Summer Loving The Emmaus Road: Why the Pill is a Problem
Plot Line and Sinker: NFP’s Many Benefits

I also toss out my second post for Bright Maidens, titled Wearing Crucifixes and Condoms, and hope to write another short post on what I learned from a Natural Family Planning Conference I attend this Spring.

Know of other great NFP links? Leave them in the comments!

Sweet Sunday

2011-07-24T16:59:00.002-04:00

Lilac Dippy, a photo by ~ Maria ~ on Flickr.

We cultivate a very small field for Christ, but we love it, knowing that God does not require great achievements but a heart that holds back nothing for self. ~ St. Rose Philippine Duchesne

Long Island Life Info

2011-07-24T16:04:00.000-04:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: The sexual activity, in which husband and wife are intimately and chastely united with one another, through which human life is transmitted, is, as the recent Council recalled, "noble and worthy.'' (11) It does not, moreover, cease to be legitimate even when, for reasons independent of their will, it is foreseen to be infertile. For its natural adaptation to the expression and strengthening of the union of husband and wife is not thereby suppressed. The fact is, as experience shows, that new life is not the result of each and every act of sexual intercourse. God has wisely ordered laws of nature and the incidence of fertility in such a way that successive births are already naturally spaced through the inherent operation of these laws. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 11)

How To Help: Want to learn how to communicate the Pro-Life Message? Attend Saturday, August 13th's Pro-Life Workshop at Knights of Columbus Hall, 45 Heitz Place, Hicksville from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Registration: $20/person, $30/couple. Payable at door. Lunch and workshop materials included. Please RSVP to TTittmann@verizon.net (Tom) or LICL 631-243-1435.

How To Get Help: Scared, confused, and facing an unexpected pregnancy? Birthright of Nassau is a caring, confidential center, which offers free pregnancy tests, free maternity and baby clothes, and referrals to local community services. For more information visit the center at 103 South Tyson, Floral Park or call 516-502-4423.

Bright Maidens: Believe Me If You Like

2011-07-19T09:37:00.000-04:00

Topic: Fr. Corapi and the importance of Christian witnessing

Elizabeth at Startling the Day
Julie at The Corner With A View
Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

Believe Me If You Like

Q: How do you know that it is Saint Margaret and Saint Catherine who speak to you?

A: I have told you often enough that they are Saint Margaret and Saint Catherine - believe me if you like.

Transcript of the Trial of Joan of Arc.

Joan of Arc by Bastien-Lepage

As a young girl born during the Hundred Years' War, St. Joan of Arc heard the voices of Saints Michael, Margaret, and Catherine instructing her to dress like a man and save France. Joan bravely sought the dauphin, the future King of France; predicted French defeats; and in April of 1429, requested to free Orleans, a town which had been English-occupied for months. She was successful, though wounded, and celebrated as the Maid of Orleans.

Soon after, she was captured by Burgundian troops and sold to the enemy English. She was then imprisoned for a year and tried by the Catholic Church on charges of witchcraft and heresy. An inaccurate summary of her statements was drawn and she was convicted.

In a moment of panic, she felt overwhelmed in front of the large crowds, and recanted her position. Once she reached her rooms, however, she gained confidence and once again professed the truth of her statements. Joan was condemned as a relapsed heretic and burned at the stake. Her last words were "Jesus, Jesus!"

Asked if she knows she is in God's grace, she answered: "If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me. I should be the saddest creature in the world if I knew I were not in His grace." She added, if she were in a state of sin, she did not think that the voice would come to her; and she wished every one could hear the voice as well as she did.

Transcript of the Trial of Joan of Arc [52]

St. Joan of Arc is an example of authentic Christian witnessing. She properly and humbly defended herself from her interrogators, who happen to be Church clergy! If you read the Transcript of her trial (link above), you will find her to be a devout, simple peasant girl who took on an insurmountable task at the urging of Saints, Angels, and the Lord Himself.

We are all called to witness in the same way, although our tasks may not be as bold as Joan's, nor as life-threatening. As the Body of Christ, our actions must mirror Christ's in all we do, and when we face opposition from even our own Church, we must humble ourselves, trusting that God works in His own time. The truth will always come out.

In a July 5th statement the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity, Fr. John Corapi's Order, insisted that although Fr. Corapi inspired "thousands of faithful Catholics...he is now misleading these individuals through his false statements and characterizations." This is the danger of false witnessing: it misleads others and often damages their trust, their hope, and their courage. It sows seeds of discord instead of seeds of peace.

If the Body of Christ jeers, mocks, lies, and hurts other...can we really say we're the Body of Christ? Will we really move others to want to know Jesus? Will we shower others with Christ's love when we don't act like him?

Fulton Sheen told a story about an encounter he had with Mother Teresa. He asked her how she catechized so many men and women. She replied that as she cared for the Poorest of the Poor, she would ask them if they wanted to know about Jesus. "Is Jesus like you?" her charges replied. "No," Mother Teresa would tell them, "I'm trying to be like him." With that statement and Mother Teresa's love, the hearts of these men and women were opened to Christ.

Again, most of us do not have the same call as Mother Teresa, but we witness in other ways. When we participate in Sacramental life; when we care for children,the elderly, or the home-bound; when we offer friends encouragement; when we pray for our enemies; when we give to the needy; when we welcome strangers; when we share hope; and when we offer support, we point our friends, family, and others to Christ's love. As long as we do this, we authentically witness to Him.

I will never forget one night in college when I did not feel like going to 9 p.m. Mass in the University Chapel. "I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I don't want to go!" I complained to God.

I got dressed anyway.

As I put on my shoes, my phone rang.

"Trista, what's goooood?"

It was one of my transfer students, a baseball player with a good heart, lots of smarts that he wasn't using, and a penchant for partying.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"I'm sending up the bat signal," he said, an inside joke about how my transfers could send signs, and I'd be there to help. "You, like, go to St. Vinny's for Mass right?"

I sighed. So funny, Lord! "Yep, I'm actually heading there in a few."

"Great, cuz I was thinking...I don't know anyone who goes to Mass...and like, I wanna go tonight, but I don't wanna sit by myself...so I thought, oh yeah! Trista goes! I could sit with her." He was silent for a second. "Right?"

I tried to digest the fact that he was asking me to help him find a place in the Church. I felt a heavy, but not uncomfortable, weight on my shoulders. Whether I realized it or not, others were watching my actions and coming to me to better know Christ's love.

"Yeah, of course!," I replied. "Meet you there in five minutes!"

Long Island Life Info

2011-07-17T17:52:00.000-04:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: Married love, therefore, requires of husband and wife the full awareness of their obligations in the matter of responsible parenthood... With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time... From this it follows that they are not free to act as they choose in the service of transmitting life, as if it were wholly up to them to decide what is the right course to follow. On the contrary, they are bound to ensure that what they do corresponds to the will of God the Creator. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 10)

From freeprolifemages.net

How To Help: Want to learn how to communicate the Pro-Life Message? Attend Saturday, August 13th's Pro-Life Workshop at Knights of Columbus Hall, 45 Heitz Place, Hicksville from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Registration: $20/person, $30/couple. Payable at door. Lunch and workshop materials included. Please RSVP to TTittmann@verizon.net (Tom) or LICL 631-243-1435.

How To Get Help: Go to http://liprolife.wordpress.com/ for information on Pregnancy Options, Mom & Baby supplies, Healing, Workshops, and various events.

Quick Takes Friday (29)

2011-07-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

1. I had such a great time camping last weekend! My family hiked, swam in the lake, got in trouble with the Ranger, caught tadpoles, crammed into a five-person tent though we're a family of seven, worked on our tans, and laughed a lot.

Catching tadpoles

We needed so much stuff for 36 hours of camping.

Brother the Boy Scout cooked us dinner.

Why must boys always make spears?

Big hats.

Youngest :)

2. Sometimes I think we're all lucky I'm not a mom blogger. Every post would be about my kids, I bet. To give you a future glimpse into that life, I'll talk about my godson/youngest cousin, who is three. I let him pick out a book to read before bed and as we entered his room, I looked around, surprised. "There's no big chair in here anymore?" I asked him. He looked from his little chair, to the book, to me, and then to the floor.

"Let's go in the girls' room," he suggested, looking wistful.

I thought this was a bad idea since I wanted him to settle down and get to sleep. "Why don't we stay in here?"

"No, let's go to the girls' room."

"Why do you want to go there?" I asked.

He gave me the most pitiful look I've ever seen and in his tired, little boy voice whispered, "I want to cuddle in the rocking chair and read."

Well, you know I picked him up and ran to get to that rocking chair because if there's one thing I love most in the world, it's cuddling my godson.

3. This week on the train, I saw a young lady perfectly apply liquid eyeliner to make cat eyes. I was instantly jealous. She didn't even have to hold down an eyelid to apply it (er, is that just me?)! Does anyone know the secret to this trick? I've practiced, but maybe I just need to put in more time.

4. Liesl over at The Spiritual Workout finished the Scripture Meme I tagged her in a few weeks ago! Check it out!

5. At a office birthday party this week, we said a quick toast to a newly-engaged coworker. "Now, no one else better be having matrimonial thoughts," chided one of the higher ups, jokingly. "No thanks, I want to be happy," a bachelor joked back.

That kind of joke repulses me. It sullies the happiness of someone else's exciting news and, statistically speaking, is a lie. Bachelors report less satisfaction with life compared to their married counterparts, experience more health problems, and often die earlier. Not exactly the happier picture.

6. Why, then, does our culture tout the old ball-and-chain routine, though it is so clearly false? What do you think?

7. Betty Beguiles is doing a fun series on how to dress for your shape! I think every woman needs to know this, so check it out!

How to Handle a Breakup, Catholic Edition (pt 2)

2011-07-14T08:00:00.002-04:00

This is the second post in a short series on

How to Handle a Breakup, Catholic Edition.

To read the first post, click here:

How to Handle a Breakup, Catholic Edition (pt 1)

bleeding.
When I was in elementary school, I attempted to roller blade down a steep hill. Despite my mother's warnings, I didn't wear knee pads, and I fell, skidding the whole way on my knees. Afterward, broken and bloody with gravel and dirt stuck in the wounds, my dad carried me to the car as I cried. During the short ride home, my pain lessened, and my sobs quieted. Somehow, I got used to the pain.

What I didn't expect was that the cleaning and bandaging of my knees would hurt almost more than the fall. As my mom stripped me and put me in the tub, I cried, holding my knees above the water. "Please Mom, don't,” I pleaded, clawing to get out the tub. "Don't clean it - it hurts!"

She ignored me and plunged me knees into the water.

I screamed.

Unknown.

A recent study shows that breakups cause both emotional and physical pain. The study likened the physical sensation to having a hot cup of coffee splashed onto you; had they surveyed me, I would have explained it more like a stake through the chest. It hurt. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't smile. Couldn't laugh. I hurt, everywhere. I let myself get used to it (and by used to it I mean, cried for months and tried to pass it off as allergies, but was generally okay in public).

If you are at this stage, I offer you my congratulations and my sympathy.

hurting.

First, congratulations! You took a risk. You were vulnerable. You were brave!

Second, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the pain you feel and sorry the relationship didn’t work out the way you’d hoped.

Breakups are hard. I didn’t need the priest to tell me that in the confessional, though he did, and I repeat it just in case anyone else needs to hear it.

frozen.

Like my bleeding knees, a bleeding heart hurts to clean and heal. In St. Francis de Sales’ Introduction to the Devout Life, he states, “Evil sadness disturbs the soul, leads to disquiet and inordinate fear, breeds distaste for prayer, clouds the mind, undermines our judgment, resolution and courage, and saps our energy. It is like a hard winter which robs the earth of its beauty and freezes every living thing, for it robs our soul of consolation and leaves it powerless and almost paralyzed.” (221)

What a statement! When I read that for the first time, I cried. Imagine St. Francis de Sales writing that centuries before I was born, perfectly summing up the disturbed state of my post-breakup soul. Living like a zombie with a taste for anxiety, jealousy, anger, and impatience. Frozen beneath the ice.

healing.

St. Francis recommends five things to shake off evil sadness:

Fall to prayer. “Make use of aspirations…which tend to confidence and love,” he suggests. Things like, “My loving Savior!” and “God of my heart, my joy and hope!” are best because they will uplift you and call upon God at the same time. You may not feel like saying these things at first (I know I didn’t), but with time, you will come to mean them.

Do good works. Volunteer at a shelter or soup kitchen. Babysit for a neighbor. Help your friend with a project. Get outside of your head and your pain for just a few hours, and you will make progress in healing.

Frequently receive Holy Communion. The Bread of Life will give you strength and joy.

Go to confession. St. Francis says there are two good effects from sadness: compassion and repentance. In the post-breakup light, you may see sins and failings that you didn’t see during the course of the relationship. Don’t hold on to them.

Image: Bill Longshaw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hang out with virtuous friends. Ask them to pray for you.

You probably won’t feel different at first. It may take days or weeks, but you will slowly heal. God will melt the ice you’re trapped under.

Or maybe you feel like you're on fire. If you are angry and impatient with God, let Him know. He’s a big boy. He can take it. Get it out of your system. Nothing good can come from holding back from God.

be still.

“Birds remain ensnared because they flutter in their wild attempts to escape from the net, and in doing so get all the more entangled, so, when you desire to…obtain some good, first strive…for peace and tranquility,” St. Francis de Sales states. Unlike my mother who forced my knees under water, Jesus will not force us to heal. He will come to us as we yell in pain, but if we're too agitated, we may not be able to hear his voice. As he tries to heal us, we may thrash around, thwarting his efforts.

Sacred Heart of Jesus

Do I have any good advice on how to go about calming oneself? I was greatly helped by praying a Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and I strongly encourage everyone to do same. However, quick disclaimer: what was a balm for my soul may not be what you need. Ask God to show you your next step and prayer, and then keep your ears tuned to suggestions from friends, family, and mentors.

the end?
Breakups are hard. It may be the end of a relationship, but it is not the end of you.

If you ever need extra prayers, please feel free to leave a comment.

Psalm 143

Lord, listen to my prayer:

turn Your ear to my appeal.

You are faithful, you are just; give answer.

Do not call Your servant to judgment

For no one is just in Your sight.

...

I remember the days that are past:

I ponder all Your works.

I muse on what Your hand has wrought

and to You I stretch out my hands.

Like a parched land my soul thirsts for You.

...

In the morning let me know Your love

for I put my trust in You.

Make me know the way I should walk:

to You I lift up my soul.

Quick Takes Friday (28): Beach, HP, and More!

2011-07-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

1. I love short work weeks! Hooray for Friday!

2. The beach was divine last Saturday! Loved hanging out with my friends, swimming in the water, and listening to the wanna-be Jersey Shore cast behind me. Oh, what? You mean you don't like your day punctuated with a lot of f-bombs and "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" talks and 13-year-olds chugging beer?

3. That's the price I pay for living on Long Island. We're not called the cousin of Staten Island and Jersy fo' nuttin.

4. Have siblings? Want to pray for them? And for yourself, too? Really, how can you say no to these questions! On Monday, July 11th, we're starting a novena for ourselves and our siblings to Saints Benedict and Scholastica, who not only are saints but are siblings, too! Sign up over at CallingAllWitnesses.com.

5. As Tom Felton (aka Draco Malfoy of the Harry Potter movies) said, "I'm Colin Creevey excited" about the last Harry Potter film. And sad. Oh, so sad! Watch and cry, friends:

6. We only have one week til that point! Are you a Harry Potter fan? What is your favorite moment in the books or movie?

7. Have a wonderful weekend! I'm off camping with my family! Hopefully it won't rain on us the whole time!

Please Join the Novena For Ourselves and Our Siblings

2011-07-07T10:00:00.001-04:00

For Ourselves and Our Siblings

You may have seen talk on Twitter and this blog about an upcoming novena to Saints Benedict and Scholastica for ourselves and our siblings. I'm happy to announce we're finally ready to go!

A novena is a devotion consisting of prayers for nine consecutive days. We're planning to start next Monday, July 11th, which just so happens to be the feast day for St. Benedict! So, for nine days, beginning on the 11th, we will pray the prayer below, followed by an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be. For your knowledge, we've also included a brief section on Saints Benedict and Scholastica!

If you'd like to join us, please leave a comment on Bryan's blog, so we can include everyone's intentions as we all pray together. If you don't have any siblings, feel free to pray for the participants and their siblings or to join in and pray for those whom you consider like siblings.

Please help us spread the word! Tweet it! Blog it! Email it!

The Story of Saints Benedict and Scholastica

Saints Benedict and Scholastica were twins born in Nursia, Italy in the early 400s. After St. Benedict founded the Benedictine Order at Monte Cassino, he established a convent, where his sister, St. Scholastica, became the first Benedictine nun.

Though the siblings had a great love for each other, the rules of their homes prohibited them from visiting at the monastery, and they were permitted one visit at a local home per year.  During one such visit, Scholastica asked Benedict and his monks to stay the night, so that they could continue to talk about heaven and other spiritual matters.  Benedict refused, saying he could not be gone a full night from his Abbey.

At his answer, Scholastica bowed her head and began to cry and pray.  Within seconds, a severe thunderstorm raged outside.   Gregory the Great later explained that “her prayer and the rain did so meet together…that in one and the very same instant, she lifted up her head and brought down the rain.”

Benedict was not pleased with this turn of events.  "God forgive you, what have you done?" he complained.

"I desired you to stay, and you would not hear me.  I asked our good Lord, and he has granted my petition,” Scholastica replied.  Benedict and his monks were forced to spend the night and stayed up late talking of heaven.

This was the last visit between Scholastica and Benedict.  Three days later, Scholastica died.

History paraphrased from SaintBenedict.org.

~The Novena Prayer~

Dear Saints Benedict and Scholastica,

As siblings you encouraged each other to grow in faith and love of God;

As saints, you encourage the world to do the same.

We turn to your knowledge of the struggles as siblings, from different perspectives and desires, to time and distance spent apart.

Despite the struggles, you also experienced the fruits of friendship, love, and support.

We humbly pray for your intercession, for ourselves and our siblings. Open our hearts to the Lord; guide us on the path to holiness; and bind us together, so that one day we will greet you in heaven with our siblings by our side.

Our Father--Hail Mary--Glory Be

Bright Maidens: In Memory Of

2011-07-05T10:23:00.000-04:00

Topic: Tattoos

Queen Victoria had her husband's clothes laid out every day for forty years.

Americans remember deceased soldiers on Memorial Day with parades and services.

My family eats hot fudge sundaes on my Grandma Carolyn's birthday.

In our culture, there are many ways to remember and celebrate the dead. These include displaying heirlooms, doing favorite activities, gathering together as a community, and individual devotions through tattoos. There are also many ways of remembering the dead that we as a society have ignored or forgotten.

In the past, Catholic families would have Masses said to pray for their deceased loved one's souls, and some still do, especially during novenas held by churches around All Soul's Day, Mother's Day, and Father's Day.

Via Google Image

We used to decorate headstones and visit grave sites, but those are no longer popular memorial activities. Part of this is the world we live in - many people do not live in the areas where their parents or grandparents were buried. We're not able to carry out these activities as we used to be.

Tattoos in memory of loved ones have, in a way, replaced some of the age-old expressions of memorial. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It is good and fitting to remember the dead. I would, however, urge every Catholic family to continue to have Masses said and to pray for their deceased. Out of all the traditions, it is the one that really matters since it deals with a person's soul.

Two-Wheeled Death Machines and Me

2011-07-03T13:26:00.001-04:00

My dad has been building and fixing motorcycles and dirt bikes since he was a teenager, so it’s no surprise that he introduced this passion to his children.

1991 Christmas photo!

For years we rode in the large field near a local dead end, always getting the boot from the cops after neighbors called the police on us.

“Sorry,” my dad would laugh, “we don’t have anywhere else to ride.”

That changed a few years ago when I was in college. My dad came across a motocross club forty minutes away from us, and before I could blink, we had joined. Suddenly, riding became less recreational and more sport. It demanded extra focus and a honing of talent, talent I didn’t have. There were hills, grooves, sharp turns, and other riders on the track. I was afraid.

My fear manifested in derision.

“So now that we joined this track and have to pay the yearly dues, we can never take a vacation, great...”

“We have to spend our whole Saturday here? Isn’t there other stuff we could be doing? I know I have important stuff to do.”

“It’s just so dumb…riding a bike around a track at a fast speed? Why don’t we just go cliff-jumping, that’s probably cheaper. And quicker.”

Happy Dad at the track.

“You’re just afraid,” my siblings challenged me. “And you’re hurting Dad’s feelings, so shut up!”

“I’m not afraid! I just think it’s dumb!” I protested.

But they were right - I was afraid, and over the last four years, dirt biking has taught me a lot about myself and my family.

(One) As the oldest, I’m used to being good at activities, especially activities with my brothers and sisters. I was years ahead of them and my skills were years ahead of theirs. I strongly dislike being bad at anything and feeling embarrassed, especially when people who are good at a particular activity are around, even when they’re related to me.

Big track.

(Two) One of the Five Love Languages is words of affirmation, and it is definitely one of my primary love languages. I say words of affirmation to others daily, and I desire to hear the same often, but never more-so than when I'm at the track.

"What's wrong?!" my dad's asked many times when I've pulled off the track dejected, embarrassed, and in tears.

"I'm...bad," I've blubbered, throwing my helmet to the ground, "and even my brothers and sisters are laughing at me!"

"Forget them," my dad's said, knowing the exact words that would comfort and encourage me. "You're good for the amount of practice you've put in; they've come a lot more, and that's the only reason they're out on the big track and you're not. You can ride! You're a good rider! Now get back out there and do it again!"

Dad and siblings; 4 years ago.

(Three) Our usual family dynamics are skewed when we go riding. I feel very vulnerable when I'm there, and not just physically because I'm riding a two-wheeled death machine. I am weak; they are strong. I am afraid; they are fearless. I need their support; they feel confident without mine.

If I don't go, we miss out on the chance to grow closer. While growing up, there have been plenty of times for me to cheer them on and offer encouragement, but not many the reverse way, just because they were younger. Dirt biking gives them that opportunity. It also reminds them (and me!) that I'm not perfect.

Last week, as we piled into the car, my sister said, "Best rider of the day goes to...Trista!"

"Nah, not me," I protested, laughing. "I wasn't doing anything fancy out there!"

"Yeah, but you're most improved," my little brother answered. He passed me the Gatorade and grinned. "Good job!"

Me in front; sister behind me.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to deflate my ego, expose my flaws, and grow closer to my family.

Quick Takes (27)

2011-07-01T00:06:00.000-04:00

1. One silly thing that makes me happy is getting Country Living magazine. Yesterday I may or may not have kissed it hello, causing an uproar in my family.

Sister: "Dude, Trista just kissed a magazine."

Other siblings: *snicker*

Cute little oinkers

2. The "Ask a Country Vet" section of Country Living features teacup pigs. Omigoodness, can I have one?

Unfortunately, the magazine does not suggest owning these tiny pigs. They can still grow to a whopping 100 pounds, eat like crazy, and are aggressive with children and animals.

For now I'll just obsessively search for images of them and giggle like fangirl.

3. This week marked the beginning of Catholic NYC's Summer sessions on Love and Responsibility! The sessions will cover a number of topics based on Edward Sri's Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love, which is a commentary/study guide on JPII's Love and Responsibility. It's also the book which gave me the inspiration for "Friendship That Lasts," one of my first Bright Maidens posts.

4. I was a bit nervous heading to the Session #1 because I don't know any of the NYC Catholics. Thankfully I sat next to a woman who had also come by herself, and we struck up a conversation. Hopefully I will see her at the next session! And maybe work up the nerve to say hi to the organizer!

Saintly Siblings

5. Have you ever wondered, "What is Not A Minx's mama like?" Wonder no more! My mom has started blogging about politics over at "What the Heck?" Stop by and leave her a comment! She's been fearlessly writing Senators and Representatives and calling the White House for years - now she's taking it to the internet!

6. Next week there will be an announcement on the Sts. Benedict and Scholastica Novena for Siblings, so stay tuned!

7. Quote I've been mulling over: "From the point of view of faith, it is a very good thing that sometimes our support crumbles beneath us, because grace is linked to this. You cannot rely on anything but God, or on any of His gifts, or on any signs of His presence." - The Gift of Faith by Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer

Happy 4th of July weekend! God bless America!

Long Island Life Info

2011-06-26T14:09:00.000-04:00

The Church's Teaching on Life: This [married] love is above all fully human, a compound of sense and spirit. It is not, then, merely a question of natural instinct or emotional drive...It is a love which is total—that very special form of personal friendship in which husband and wife generously share everything...Married love is also faithful and exclusive of all other, and this until death...Finally...it also contrives to go beyond this to bring new life into being. (Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul VI, para. 9)

Image: nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How You Can Help: Rachel's Vineyard Retreats on Long Island is looking for a volunteer musician and singer to perform two - three times per year at the weekend retreats. This is an upaid position with many spiritual blessings. Contact Frank Garibaldi at 516-798-8746 for more info.

How To Get Help: Seeking assistance during an unexpected pregnancy? The Life Center of Long Island provides sonograms, counseling, pre and post-natal guidance, and material aid. The nearest center is located at 507 Fulton Avenue, Hempstead, and can be reached at 516.408.6300.

Quick Takes (26) - Summer!

2011-06-25T15:11:00.000-04:00

1. Whoops, I'm late with my 7 Quick Takes, and I have no good excuse!

Someecards

2. My siblings claim this girl Jenna Rose reminds them of me when I was younger. I don't see a resemblance except for the long, dark hair; narrow face; and dorky dance moves she does on the bed.

3. If you watched that whole thing, know that my favorite part is "Trig bought a new Blackberry?" "What?!" "Trig bought a new Blackberry?" Dying. of. laughter.

4. Tomorrow is my last day of working 6 days a week! Hooray! I'm so happy to have my Sundays back and be working a regular schedule of five days a week.

Sunken Meadow State Park and Beach; personal photo

5. It's officially Summer! I'm blessed to live near some wonderful beaches...and this summer I pledge to actually go more than five times! When the beach is less than twenty minutes away, I have no reason to miss out on the sand, sun, and surf.

6. My publishing house has put me on the rotation to read incoming submissions! When I heard the news, I started shaking. Right now I work in the Marketing department, but I'm really interested in Editorial, so this is an amazing opportunity to make good connections with the Editors.

7. My summer motto: "An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered." - G.K. Chesterton

Happy Summer! Have an adventure!

not a minx, a moron, or a parasite

Long Island Life Info: Attention Doctors and Nurses

My Picks for The Liebster Blog

Help! I Hate Valentine's Day!

Forming Good Habits: February 2012

Dragons Exist

Bright Maidens: March for Life Reflection

Long Island Life Info: Become Apostles to Other Married Couples

Long Island Life Info: The Holiness and Joy of the Law

Bright Maidens: Angels

Long Island Life Info: Our next appeal is to men of science.

Bright Maidens: The Absolutely True Diary of a Virgin

Long Island Life Info: There Are Other Ways

Bright Maidens: Snow and Pastures

Bright Maidens: Little Moments

Long Island Life Info: True Liberty

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Long Island Life Info: A Resolute Purpose and Great Endurance

What Happens When We Hook Up?

Long Island Life Info: She Defends the Dignity of Husband and Wife.

à tout à l'heure

Bright Maidens: Scapulars: I Feel Weird

Long Island Life Info

Pure Desires

Dante Had Virgil; My Brother Has...Me?

Bright Maidens: Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome! Topic: Emotional Chastity Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters

A More Visible Witness (over at VirtuousPla.net)

Long Island Life Info

Bright Maidens: Sensible, Courageous, and Very Beautiful

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!Topic: "What is the distinction between being sexy vs. being desirable?"

Elizabeth at Startling the DayJulie at The Corner With A View Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!

"Now the girl is sensible, courageous, and very beautiful."

- St. Raphael, describing Sarah to Tobiah

I am not Megan Fox.

I have a really good excuse, promise!

Being Single.

Long Island Life Info

A Pilgrimage, Not A Vacation

Bright Maidens: Feminine Genius: The Interior: Peace Within

Long Island Life Info

Quick Takes (33) : World Youth Day Snapshots

Esta es la juventud del papa!

Keep the Window Clean

Long Island Life Info

Bright Maidens: Dresses & the Apostolate of Beauty

Quick Takes (32): 7 World Youth Day Quick Takes

Itching for Tuesday's "Feminine Genius: The Dress"

An Invitation to My Online Friends - World Youth Day 2011

Sick Day Giggles - Average is the New Exceptional

Quick Takes (31): Hey Aunt Jemima!

Bright Maidens: Summer Reading

Long Island Life Info

World Youth Day 2011 - The Church Needs You!

Quick Takes (30): A Bibliophile in Brooklyn

National Natural Family Planning Awareness Week

Sweet Sunday

Long Island Life Info

Bright Maidens: Believe Me If You Like

Long Island Life Info

Quick Takes Friday (29)

How to Handle a Breakup, Catholic Edition (pt 2)

Quick Takes Friday (28): Beach, HP, and More!

Please Join the Novena For Ourselves and Our Siblings

For Ourselves and Our Siblings

The Story of Saints Benedict and Scholastica

Bright Maidens: In Memory Of

Two-Wheeled Death Machines and Me

Quick Takes (27)

Long Island Life Info

Quick Takes (26) - Summer!

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

Topic: Emotional Chastity

Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

Topic: "What is the distinction between being sexy vs. being desirable?"

Elizabeth at Startling the Day
Julie at The Corner With A View
Check out our Facebook page for guest posts!